Fanny Press has invited me to blog about cuckolding, and I’m taking them up it. Fanny Press is the publisher of my first novel about cuckolding, From Housewife to Cuckoldress. I figure this blog will give me a chance to share some excerpts that I haven’t yet published and dish on why I wrote the book in the first place. Writing a book is no small effort, so it’s a fair question to ask: why did I bother?
Cuckolding has many definitions we can argue about, but I find that kind of thing tiring. One thing I think we can agree on: fueled by the uncanny ability of the Internet to foster niche communities, the practice of cuckolding in all its variations is growing. While still a largely underground subculture, the awareness of cuckolding is creeping upward. It’s also safe to say that cuckolding is largely – at least to this point – driven by male fantasies. Cuckolding has a particularly jugular way of tapping into male sexual fantasies of submission, inferiority, inadequacy or even impotence.
That said, I’m especially interested in the female experience of cuckolding. So for my first novel, I wrote about cuckolding from a woman’s point of view. By telling the story of a sexually frustrated married woman who stumbles, if you will, into cuckolding, I was hoping to add a twist to the theme of female sexual empowerment. I also wanted to write some hot cuckold sex scenes. I’ve read a lot of cuckold fiction and very little of it has lived up to the best of my own experiences. While the sex in From Housewife to Cuckoldress is what you might call “best case scenario” sex – orgasms all around – I wanted it to be capture the special intensity that cuckold sex can have.
I have studied human sexuality for a couple of decades now. My own research has been sparked by a personal journey from what I now call “vanilla” relationships to much more open or experimental ones. These types of relationships are not for everyone, but for some of us, they are the only way forward. It’s like we reach a point where we know that “vanilla” is no longer a big enough container for our sexual expression. Vanilla in this context is not intended as an insult, it’s more like a shoe that, for some us anyway, just doesn’t fit.
Cuckolding is only one form of “beyond vanilla” sexuality, and within cuckolding there is tremendous variation as well. The cuckolding I write about in From Housewife to Cuckoldress is of a rarer kind that I particularly enjoy: cuckolding that is initiated by the woman. Of course, we know that woman cheat on their spouses almost as much as men- cheating is an equal opportunity epidemic. While it would be foolish to argue that cuckolding, or open relationships in general, can resolve all the issues that drive spouses to cheat, I do know that I’m personally fascinated by what happens when all sexual problems are brought up and addressed within the relationship, even when it involves bringing in other partners.
Of particular intrigue to me is the behavior of what I call “alpha females.” These are women who are at the top of the sexual food chain. Of course, many will object to this kind of thinking, preferring to think about sex as a democratic experience that all of us have access to. I will not argue that the democracy of sex is important to being human, except to point out that every high school dance across the country puts sexual winners and losers on display. There’s no question that “alpha females,” those women who are perceived as most desirable by men (and other women) have the most sexual options. As a result, their sexual choices shed light on what women’s ultimate preferences are when they have free range in their choices in partners and relationships. Of course, in most cultures, even today, women’s sexual choices have repercussions. But in a fictional world, there is room to explore them. From Housewife to Cuckoldress is about an erotic journey that such an “alpha woman” goes through.
Of course, it takes her a while. It takes her a while to realize that she is sexually unfulfilled. It takes her a while to admit to herself that her husband might be inadequate for her needs – a very taboo idea indeed. It takes her even longer to accept the reality that she has more sexual power in her marriage than her husband does. It is then up to her to decide if she will exercise that power solely for her own fulfillment or if she will take the health of her marriage into account. Since she can’t make an informed decision about these dilemmas without an awareness of what cuckolding is and how a wife might go about it, I introduce a wild female friend into the story who brings those ideas to light.
Then our alpha woman makes her choices. I think that’s a good stopping point for my first blog post, but I will return from time to time with more of my views on cuckolding and possibly book excerpts from future titles or unpublished writings. I am working on a new cuckolding novel as well, it’s very different than From Housewife to Cuckoldress; I’ll say more about that book as we go.
One final comment for my first post: a big thanks to Fanny Press for backing this kind of writing. They have shown a great deal of professionalism, bringing out the best in my work and getting it out to audiences. Their fresh approach to erotic book publishing is to be applauded.